Jan 20 2010

I have decided that I hate blogging at this point. This web site is my link to a place I do not want to return to. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I love home. I miss my family and friends, but I would honestly be totally fine living here for a few more years. I don’t like checking my email anymore because the messages are those of excitement of my return and friends who already want to make plans to see me. I don’t want to be thrown back into my old life this quickly! I’m not ready. I have two more full days here and it absolutely kills me. I think the bond I have to this place is something that can only be understood after spending a good amount of time here. It is so frustrating when people ask how my trip has been thus far because I can’t find words to correctly describe my experience. “Incredible”, “life-changing”, “amazing” don’t quite get it. Mary and I have been talking to our bosses and looking through real estate magazines in hopeful preparation of our return this summer. We want to, instead of living on the villa property, get an apartment in the city and learn our way around this incredible place. I know this sounds a little crazy, but I can’t picture the next couple years of my life without Amistad in it. Since these journals only need to be 250 words, I am almost done. My blogs these next few days may not be too detailed. I would prefer to keep these last few days to myself. I understand that everyone is interested in knowing what is going on, but since Mary and I are both very emotionally attached to every child here, it is going to be a hard next couple of days. We have to be strong for the kids, but inside we are dying. We are having to leave some of our best friends, our sister and brothers, our tios and tias, our children. In fact, one of the 14 year old boys, who calls us hermanas, teared up tonight when he heard we were leaving on Saturday. Imagine how much that tore at our hearts. So in conclusion, I miss everyone at home and I understand that you want Mary and I to come back, but we aren’t ready. Not anywhere close.